


Hard Boiled and Crispy Fried

by morrezela



Series: Chef Jensen & Faux Chef Jared [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Chefs, Blogging, Grumpy Jensen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-28 21:13:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3869983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morrezela/pseuds/morrezela
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Domestic bliss is different when you’re a too serious chef dating an insane food blogger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hard Boiled and Crispy Fried

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The people mentioned herein belong to themselves. This is a pure and utter work of fiction. Not a teeny, tiny drop of it is real.
> 
> Warnings: Comedic discussions of food kinks and cross dressing kinks.
> 
> A/N: This is a timestamp for Out of the Double Boiler, Into the Fryer. It is also my letter “E” fill for my alphabet fic meme. The poster picked ‘eggs’ as her word.
> 
>  
> 
> All mistakes that you find are my own.

“Jared, no,” Jensen ordered.

“But…”

“N. O.”

“But they’re Scotch eggs. They’re supposed to be fried. It’s my thing,” Jared argued.

“And it is my kitchen,” Jensen responded easily as he eyed the heating oil, “a place that I firmly forbade you from ever cooking in.”

Jared’s frown turned into more of a pout as he tried to stare earnestly through his bangs at Jensen. “You let me make coffee.”

“Not cooking,” Jensen answered.

“Remember, that time it got late, and you let me stay over even though we hadn’t had sex?” Jared continued like Jensen hadn’t spoken a word. “The night you let me be the big spoon? You let me make you coffee in the morning, and you said it was good.”

“First of all, coffee is still not cooking. It is brewing or barista-ing or bartending or something that deals with things you drink. Second of all, I say things I don’t mean when I’m caffeine deprived. Remember when I told you that I loved teddies, and you got all upset with me?”

“You were slurring your speech and saying that you loved teddy bears, and it was adorable,” Jared countered.

Jensen let his disbelief show on his face. “I seem to remember you having something of a meltdown about it. How you couldn’t believe that I was straight and had been lying to you. When I told you I wasn’t looking for a woman, you started going off on how you didn’t think you’d look good in a teddy and how cross dressing wasn’t your thing. There was also a rambling speech about how you totally supported my sexual interests, and how we could maybe meet in the middle with you just wearing women’s underwear.”

“Okay, yeah, but… It’s adorable now! And you meant it; I just heard you wrong.”

“And now you are misinterpreting my choice to allow you to be my crack dealer. Coffee is many things, but food it is not.”

“But you can put sugar in it! Sugar is food. It’s a solid! And it is made from coffee beans which are food because you can dip them in chocolate and make candies out of them,” Jared argued.

“And beer is really a grain and makes up part of the food pyramid?” Jensen asked sarcastically.

Jared sulked and pouted harder. “But I can do this.”

“You can,” Jensen allowed, “at your place.”

“You never come over to my place.”

“Because you are always over at my place,” Jensen reminded him as he reached to start dropping the eggs into the oil.

“It’s nicer over here. You have expanded cable for reasons I will never understand as you’re never here to watch it.”

Jensen shrugged. It was one of those things that he had indulged himself in when he’d gotten his place, and had never used because it hadn’t kept him from becoming a workaholic. Things had slipped away from him, and his good intentions to cancel his package had never materialized into reality. It was just as well. Now he had a built-in boyfriendsitter.

“And I get to spend more time with you when you’re working those crazy shifts,” Jared added on when Jensen didn’t respond with any action beyond adding more eggs to the hot oil.

“Mmmhmmm,” Jensen hummed as he eyed the coating around the eggs for any signs of cracking or imperfection. He deftly nudged them around in their cooking bath for the requisite time before plucking them out and preparing to cook the next batch.

Surprisingly, Jared’s mammoth hand didn’t reach over to try to sneak one of the treats. That was a bad sign. It meant they were about to have a relationship talk. Jensen had gotten good at noticing the indicators for impending discussions about their state of union, and Jared had been exhibiting the symptoms for at least a month. If Jensen could only predict the topic of those discussions as well, he’d be set.

“Jensen?” Jared had his ‘nice’ voice out. He used it on puppies and children and police officers that he was trying to talk out of giving him tickets.

Jensen didn’t trust that tone, so he answered with a wary, “Yes?”

“I was thinking that maybe I could move in with you.”

It was a statement. No doubt about that. Jared was very much not asking a question, and the grease that splattered as Jensen dropped an egg in too fast was completely Jared’s fault.

“What?”

“Most of my stuff is over here anyway, and you like it that I’m at home when you get back from working those crazy hours of yours,” Jared steamrolled ahead with his argument instead of repeating himself.

“This wouldn’t be why we’ve been having so much sex lately, would it?” Jensen asked.

Jared’s face flushed with guilt. “Maybe?”

“I knew that not even you could be that horny,” Jensen muttered as he started haphazardly dropping eggs into the cooking oil.

“Hey, I’m not the one with the thing about letting his boyfriend stay overnight when we haven’t been playing sweaty monkey the night before!” Jared protested. “I had to know if it would work before I went ahead with asking you. And don’t act like you didn’t enjoy every minute of it,” he finished with a huff.

“For the record,” Jensen snarled, “I did not like the thing with the peanut butter. Food is not for consumption in bedroom activities.”

“God! You are such a prude!” Jared snapped, crossing his arms over his chest and glowering.

“I just happen to have a sensitivity towards cuisine and an excellent pallet. I do not taste good with peanut butter. My skin is very uncomplimentary to it.”

“Oh, please, like you know what your own skin tastes like,” Jared scoffed.

The Scotch eggs needed to be looked at right then. Overcooking was a concern. It was merely coincidence that it kept Jensen from having to make eye contact with his boyfriend.

“You didn’t,” Jared accused anyway.

“Didn’t what?”

“I can’t believe you tasted peanut butter off your own skin,” Jared said dumbly.

The hot feeling that rushed up the back of Jensen’s neck to find its way to his face was a more truthful answer than he wanted to give Jared. “It was important,” he said.

“I need to move in to save you from yourself,” Jared stated firmly.

“Please,” Jensen said as he removed the second batch of eggs from the cooking oil, “you’ve been slowly taking over my place for weeks now. I wouldn’t be surprised if half your crap is already here. Hell, you’ve probably already given your notice.”

The silence behind Jensen was rather suspicious.

“Jared?” he asked as he turned around.

“I just wanted to make sure that it was going to work,” Jared said in a small voice.

Jensen turned and stared at him for a moment. “And then you decided it would?”

“Don’t be mad,” Jared blurted out.

“Why would I be mad?” Jensen asked. “You only made a relationship decision for us without asking me first.”

“Not true! I just asked!” Jared protested.

“You don’t have anywhere else to stay,” Jensen pointed out.

“I could go stay with Misha.”

“And have your followers start up that love triangle rumor again? The one where Misha is the only one who truly loves you, but you stay with me because of my ‘legit cooking rep,’ and he stays with his wife because he’s… whatever? No thanks. I prefer to not get asked about my relationship status because your fans are discussing it on Twitter.”

“You… don’t sound super pissed?” Jared said.

“Because I’m not,” Jensen grudgingly admitted. “You’re you. This is us. And it is a sadly common thing for you to make a decision about our relationship and inform me about it later. If I was a more aware person, that might bug me. As it is… It’s kind of nice. Weird and potentially disturbing, but nice. It allows me to focus on my work.”

“So you love me for your cooking skills?” Jared said after a moment.

“Way to make me sound like an egocentric bastard,” Jensen retorted.

“But you love me,” Jared countered with a pleased smugness.

Jensen couldn’t keep the smile from tugging at his lips. “That I do.”


End file.
